Miss Trust: Tales from the Bedpan
Shift #2: Part Two – We’re not always ducks!
The day began just like the previous week. I met up with my clinical instructor and fellow nursing students, engaging in small talk like how our week went and how we were finding our classes, before heading upstairs to our assigned floors. On my floor, I had the chance to listen to the charge nurse giving their report. As I sat in the room, I observed the PSWs around me—everyone seemed like family. Their interactions fostered a comforting sense of community, which made me feel more welcomed into this environment.
By the time my shift started at 2 PM, the pace was slow. The residents had eaten lunch already, some were napping, while others watched a movie in the main hallway. You might think they are watching old reruns of shows from the 1970s or perhaps even older, but you would be surprised to learn they watch YouTube! That’s right, YouTube. Videos of past singing competition shows mixed with baby compilation videos. There is a certain melancholy-like feeling you get watching them watch these videos. What are they thinking while they watch? Does it remind them of something in their own life? Are they content or fulfilled or do they feel alone? I feel sad but I feel privileged to be here for them. How many more videos will they watch? How many times will I be able to see them?
During this quiet time, I chatted with my preceptor, getting to know her better. She’s a petite woman, with a friendly and eager personality, just like me. This similarity has helped us bond. While it’s a common stereotype that most nurses are female, and share certain common qualities, I couldn’t help but notice how many of the PSWs and nurses here fit that perception! By the end of my shift, I wasn’t sure if anyone could tell that I wasn’t a regular here. In fact, they all spoke to me like they had known me for years, like I was a kid sister that they had to look out for. Unfortunately, I am still not that comfortable to reciprocate this familiarity, but it helped me to relax, stay focused, and control the fear factor that appears from time to time. I find the experience funny, but in a good way.
I made some new friends today too. I’m probably not supposed to say or feel that, but it is hard to keep that professional distance they tell you to keep with your patients. Especially when I see the same residents every week! How can you do that? How do you keep this distance? I’m not finding an answer that doesn’t make me feel or sound like a textbook or like a robot.
I spent some time with one resident who is very independent. I had noticed the week earlier that they liked to take a walk around the floor after dinner. I made it a point to make an effort to find them and enjoy a walk together. I genuinely enjoyed our time together, on our walk. They shared stories about their life and who and what was important to them. I could identify and relate with them too. I also spent time with another resident, sitting with them during the movie. I enjoyed sitting and talking with them. I know they enjoyed my time and interest too. They even invited me to sleep over that night, which made me smile. Seriously, tell me how I keep this professional distance!? I think forming these relationships with the residents is really important. I really do!
In the last two hours of my shift, I had the chance to shadow the charge nurse. It was 7 PM, time for administering bedtime medications. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but once we got started, two hours flew right by. He introduced me to the med cart, yes I said, ‘He’! Nurses are not all women.
And in case you are wondering, he was wearing black scrubs. I asked him about the uniforms he wears – black or navy blue he answered. He wasn’t shocked or surprised by my question, because I said, a nurse's uniform is important! The charge nurse’s colour choices were competent, representing authority and professionalism. Pastels would not work on him. Mixed messaging to staff and residents. He is also definitely not on the ‘spring pallet’!
The charge nurse was very informative and explained the organization of each drawer, where each medication was stored, and even why it was there. I learned how some patients prefer their meds with apple sauce or with pudding, while others prefer to take them with water. All the time zipping around the floor, delivering meds to various residents. I even had the opportunity to administer meds on my own! For those two hours, I felt like a nurse! I got caught up in the fast-paced and busy movement. So cool!
After the medication round, the charge nurse shared more experience-based information about the residents and the facility. Those last couple of hours were exhilarating! By the end, my legs ached, and I was utterly exhausted, but my heart was full.
Imagine what I would have felt without these great shoes!?